Sometimes I think I'm a normal person, but then I try to move my body and I discover that it doesn't move like it used to. I know that age and additional weight change things, but it's more than that. You see, my name is Petula... and I suffer from invisible illnesses.
If you've been around before you know that I fight multiple myeloma, fibromyalgia and Sjogren's syndrome. If you're new then I hope you'll read some of my backstory. I used to be a normal person more than 20 years ago, but right after I had to have emergency surgery to remove my gall bladder in December 1994 things went haywire in the health department.
A month after my surgery I was told I have multiple myeloma.
Just a glance in my direction shows no signs of what my body is going through. When you ask me in passing "How are you?" I say I'm fine, but I really want to say, "Well, ya know, my joints are throbbing, my hips are killing me and giving out every few steps, I can feel the bones of my feet when I walk, my mouth and eyes are so dry that sometimes I can't see well and I don't want to talk, my lower back and my hips have decided that my newfound pleasure in sitting upright is over. Yup, I'm back to mostly reclining regardless of what I'm doing."
But who wants to hear all of that? On the outside I'm saying, "Fine, how are you?" And on the inside I'm screaming... that's my fight.