Cancer Journal #7 - Putting the pieces together

Many of you have been coming by waiting for me to give an update on my health situation. (If you're new to my blog you can catch up with my fight against multiple myeloma by reading my cancer journal.) I'm normally very open about my health and life because I believe one's story - or as some say testimony - can help, comfort or inspire others.

What's been happening

I have hesitated in being my normal open self because on January 14th two days after I returned from receiving my treatment and bone marrow transplant in Tennessee I was served with papers from my ex-husband who was suing me for custody and child support of my three young children ages 11, 10 and 7. This occurrence and the subsequent emergency hearing (more about that at another time... maybe) not only threw me for a loop but extremely angered me.

My plan was to solely focus on gaining strength and getting some things in order at home, but my attention was diverted by this. The only thing I was interested in doing was writing a post spewing my thoughts, hatred and details of the situation... what gave me pause was the fact that my ex-husband used my health, previous posts and my GoFundMe page (can you believe it?) against me in court. Besides being pissed off about him using that against me I was even more aggravated that he was able to misconstrue my words by taking a couple of paragraphs of a post to prove his point. In essence saying I'm unable to take care of my children because of finances and my health.

I miss everyday life with my kids

I've been a parent for almost 24 years. Whether I've struggled financially or with my health has never changed the fact of how well I've cared for my children. All of a sudden I'm not capable because the paperwork for him to discontinue paying child support while the children are with him temporarily didn't go through in time. The result is he started receiving notices that he would be arrested and licenses suspended. He changed his bank account information so the child support couldn't be taken out automatically and because it hadn't been done the correct way he was in that position. 

IV machines were my friends

This he blamed on me. Funny because he called me the day before I left for Tennessee to say something about this. Funny because he contacted me while I was in the hospital to do something for him in regards to this as I'm trying to hold my food down and stay out of the bathroom, endure the weakness and other symptoms. His negligence in making sure that was handled at the right time in the right way caused an upset he couldn't control and "punished" me by taking me to court.

Steroids added some pounds

Let's jump forward. The judge ruled that nothing would change in regards to custody of the children and child support. She also said the children who I had brought home by enforcing my current court would stay with him temporarily until school was out in May, which was an agreement we previously made per his suggestion. (My son wants to live with his father, which is another story for another day.)

So you can see why my plans for health updates/posts and even my desire to publish posts were upset. I know there are individuals who are looking for anything they can use against me hence my lack of posts. I'm not even going to mention the leftover effects of treatment that cause what we call "chemo brain." It's funny (again with that word) how someone can be so helpful and seem so concerned then can turn around and stab you in the back. The only thing left to say is comeuppance.

The real health update

I've been continually getting stronger and have more stamina. My white blood cell count has been slowly going down over the last several weeks, but it's still within the low normal range so supposedly it's okay. Right now they're talking about maintenance drugs, which will be a low dose chemotherapy regimen. I'm not sold on this standard treatment, but it's not something I have to make a decision on right away.

The only somewhat negative is my fight with fibromyalgia and sjogren's syndrome. Both were temporarily alleviated after the stem cell transplant, but the symptoms and pain have slowly returned. I'm doing what's necessary to minimize the pain and follow the advice that I know works. Losing almost 40 pounds after finally getting off of steroids has helped tremendously. I'm so happy to be looking more like myself and look forward to losing some more weight.

Wig #1... a bit conservative.

Wig #2... a lil sporty.

I'll look even more like myself once my hair grows back. It's been growing fairly quickly but I don't like how I look with short hair so I've been wearing wigs. Other than that, I'm fighting hormonal changes (thanks menopause and - possibly - hyperthyroidism)... along with that comes unwanted and sudden tears, crazy overactive emotions and an attitude that can melt ice. 

Wig #3... my fav.

So I either remain my normal, carefree, over-sharing self here on the blog or I stick to writing general information on health, products and parenting... I haven't decided yet so you'll have to stay tuned to see what I come up with.

What would you do?