Life... Health... Reviews...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

3 ways to redemptive parenting

Despite the desire to be as perfect as possible, I know the goal of perfection is fantastical. But, as a mom, parenting is one area I wish I could perfect in a way that I don't emotionally hurt myself or my children.

It takes a lot to admit my job as a mom is the hardest I've ever done and will do. I find it even more difficult to be the parent I want to be with my anxiety and stress heightened as I fight a disease that uses a major portion of my brain and body.

So, what's a mom to do when the issue is going to require my long-term attention? And, to make matters worse, I am up against a trio of children who constantly give me a run for my money, wrack my brain, and test my nerves and patience more often than not.

Although I may not get this parenting thing right there are some things I can do to make this part of the rocky road little less bumpy.

1. Ask for forgiveness from my children and myself. This is a hard one.
2. Ask for more help. Hmmm, finding more help causes a little conundrum, but I hope it's not impossible.
3. Talk to my children more often about the battle we - as a family - are fighting. Unfortunately, cancer doesn't discriminate and it can cause upset through the entire household. Children don't completely understand, but they're just as concerned and scared. Balancing the battle and their childhood is difficult but necessary.

After almost 23 years of parenting I continue to seek that peaceful space that makes this job less work. From my perspective it seems like I haven't learned the nuances of this new generation of children. I don't recall parenting my oldest child years ago being so difficult. Either way, as I seek to be my best self I must also seek to be the mom my children deserve.

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, March 3, 2014

Let's take a break

Right now my health is a full-time job. A job that is very important... Eccential, in fact. And, weirdly, like with any job I'm getting really tired of it and need a break.

Of course that's not how this works. Although I've reached a speed bump, there is no time to slow down... Sharp curves and hidden turns have exposed themselves, but that doesn't mean a thing. The break comes when the cancer is obliterated.

Here are some of the speedbumps that are bothering me right now:
1. Most weeks I have a minimum of two days that I have to be at the VA hospital. And some of those days there are more than one appointment.
2. The random stomach aches, bloating and constant swelling of fingers and ankles have put a link into my mobility.
3. This is the worse one thus far: I had a horrible reaction to a med I was taking to get rid of numbness, tingling and pain in hand and forearms. It caused my eyelids to swell and become extremely painful and red. Poor, sad eye.

The ironic thing is the med was actually working and I was going to increase the dose to recommended amount when something told me to check side effects. That's how I learned it effects the eyes. It wasn't a difficult decision to make to stop taking it.

Now the question is do I want to try another med for the hand and arm symptoms that are a result of the chemo? We'll see. If I do, I will definitely check side effects first.

As far as that break goes, I'll just have to wait. I'll have a pause "soon" midway through my treatment and plasma transplant... For now I will continue to take one day at a time while being happy I'm still here amongst the living.

Whether you're dealing with a health issue or one of the many other things that put bumps in your path: How do you handle those instances when you just want to take a break but can't? Please share in the comments.

posted from Bloggeroid

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