Saturday, April 26, 2014

Take 3 steps to stop negative *self talk*

"There is nothing anyone can say that will hurt me more than what I say to myself."

It's one of the top topics in women's magazines lately: Be good to yourself, practice self love, make time for yourself, better yourself, identify your attributes and pursue your goals and fans from there... Regardless of how it's worded, there is one consistent detail to all of this - stop bad-mouthing yourself.

When someone else insults us or talks badly about us, most of us will refute the information regardless of it hurt our feelings or not. A lot of us will defend ourselves (verbally or mentally) and some will "show them." Normally, eventually, we move on. But when we keep whispering in our own ears the words reverberate for days, weeks and sometimes months and years?

Why are we so unkind to ourselves? From my perspective, there isn't one easy reason. Our feelings of negativity are fueled by depression, low self esteem, illness and a multitude of other emotional disturbances. And we can't discount our learned behavior, mentalities and experiences from the childhood years.

Regardless, this behavior can still be curbed.

1. Tell yourself something nice about you. Then repeat. Affirmations & quotes to memorize don't necessarily work for me and I strongly dislike too many papers, etc., posted around my home. But if I acknowledge something positive - no matter how small - to myself it sticks for longer. For instance, "I'm a loving person," "I'm a talented writer," or "I have a solution for every dilemma."

Once you start feeling more positive and happy about you then tell yourself bigger things and add solutions: 'I will lose 100 pounds. My first goal is 20 pounds by August 1st. ' Get it?

2. Make yourself feel better. If you do your hair yourself start putting money aside to visit a salon once a month. You don't have to get the works - get a cut one month, color next, highlights, etc. Same for manicures and pedicures. If monthly doesn't work for you then try bi-monthly or quarterly. Or choose one of these: facial, massage therapy, a new blouse, a spiritual gathering, go out for a drink, have lunch/coffee with a friend or do something for someone else.

3. Do something for someone else. Many people think when others have a lot of going on in the way of responsibilities and difficulties that they don't wanna hear the troubles of others. But focusing on someone else can bring relief to yourself and give you a dose of endorphins that will boost your mood.

With your mind occupied there'll be relief from berating yourself with negative internal dialog. That's a win-win, right?

Are you guilty of negative self talk? Let us know in the comments how you are overcoming it.






posted from Bloggeroid