Not too long ago I mentioned that my oldest daughter celebrated her 21st birthday. What I didn’t get into is how I felt about it. There is only one reason I haven’t said much about my feelings: They are all mixed up in my head and swirling around with the other information about things going on in my life.
Oh, and before I continue: Yes, she is still my baby! And she admits to it. :-)
Yes, I think it’s amazing and a bit surreal to have a child who is 21 years old – talk about make a momma feel old, but my mind is filled with issues about money (mine and hers), money and, well, money. The other little bits of brain that aren’t taken up with thoughts of money are concerns about my health and my parenting of my three other children.
Let’s review the facts:
- I’m going to be a grandmother in about two months and every time I think I’m ready something comes up to point out that I’m not ready.
- There are some tests and whatnot that are up in the air regarding my health so although I don’t worry about that situation it does cross my mind as I try to pay attention to what’s going on within my body.
- My other three children – ages 5, 7 and 8 – are quite a handful. Every time I think we’ve reached a level of calmness, normality and ease in our lives something changes with them. Their moods, attitudes, vocabulary (!), thoughts, etc. It’s a merry-go-round and rollercoaster of “activity” that I sometimes (read: often) can’t keep up with.
- And I want a man. My own man. That’s all I’m going to say about that. Wait, one more thing: When I say “own man” it isn’t because I am seeing someone else’s man (LOL!); it means I’m tired of men who are unavailable approaching me. Yup, that’s married men, engaged men, men in relationships, separated men, etc. … '
What do I really think? That I’ve raised a beautiful young woman who makes me really proud and who I love with all of my heart, mind and spirit. A young lady who I want to see achieve and realize her deepest dreams and live her biggest fantasies. She’s my love and I’m so happy to have been blessed with her.
She’s about 11 years old here… --->
Amber is about 13 or 14 in these two pictures. Yup, she’s always been a cutie! :-)
<--- I think this one is about a year ago; last summer I think.
She’s probably lucky I don’t have any of her baby pictures scanned into my computer.
How do you feel as your children get older?