Wednesday, January 4, 2012

What do you think of my book idea?

I’m in the process of reviewing the book “How to write a book proposal” by Michael Larsen. Although I have a couple other books in my personal library on the subject I took on this book because it’s actually something I’m in the process of doing and it doesn’t hurt to read and learn as much as possible about the topic.

One of my commitments (what you may call resolutions) this year is to finish my nonfiction book proposal and a minimum of three chapters of the book. While reading the book I discovered a few ideas to try out and see if 1) I have a good idea and 2) if the suggestions in the book work. So over the course of reading the book and working on the proposal you can expect to hear a lot about what’s going on.

The first idea I’m trying? Test the idea on your network. I figure what better group of people to ask than people who read my stuff anyway. So, here it goes, you’re my first “test subjects.” (Don’t you feel honored?! LOL)

Given my slightly suspicious nature I don’t think I’m going to give you a specific title just yet. My book is a how to guide on establishing and maintaining a strong, healthy relationship with your daughter. The plan to write one specifically geared towards relationships with sons is brewing in the back of my brain.

DSCF4605 I came up with the idea years ago when my oldest daughter was about 13 years old, but prior to that age different people would comment on how close we were and that it would change when she became a teenager. I refuse to buy into that. I believe a relationship – any relationship – is what you make it. When I was pregnant with my third child, my normally talkative, momma’s girl started withdrawing. She would go into her room and close her door after school instead of leaving it open like she used to. She was moody, easily rubbed the wrong way and I felt like I had to walk around on eggshells with her.

One day, as I stood outside of her bedroom door feeling apprehensive to open the door, I had an “ah ha” moment: I was feeling scared. Scared! Of my own child. Then I realized the problem. As parents – and as individuals in general – we fear change. A child who is growing into a young adult and trying to find themselves is in the midst of change; what we don’t realize is we have to change with them.

Parenting children doesn’t come with a manual, but it does take trial and error. That day, I made a decision. I cheerily bombarded my daughter everyday after school by asking her questions, listening to her talk, finding out about homework and friends – it was rather exhausting, but… and here’s the important part… whatever she was going through eased up a little and I was right there waiting for my baby.

Sure she had changed, but I changed a little with her as well as kept my own parenting style. When Amber hears me tell other parents about me pushing myself on her she’ll chime in by saying, “Yea, I hated every minute of it, but I’m glad she did it.”

DSCF4685 Imagine that! Pushing myself on my daughter worked. I didn’t give her attitude about her piss-poor attitude, I didn’t ask her, “What’s wrong with you!” and I didn’t accuse her, alienate her or show that her loved her any differently.

Does that make me an expert? Well, yea, in a way. You know why? Because it worked and it’ll continue to work with the children I have. Now I can tell other parents how to do it along with input from Amber to make it the perfect how-to guide for mothers and daughters.

So, I have a couple of questions for you:

  1. What do you think of my book idea?
  2. Have you had an experience like this with your children?
  3. Do you have advice or warnings for others?
  4. And, if so, would you like to be featured in my book?

I can’t wait to read your comments. I really look forward to your input and opinions.