Wednesday, September 14, 2011

What to do when help is needed

I don’t know if you’ve noticed that I haven’t been posting a lot, visiting many blogs, tweeting or hanging out on Facebook as much as I normally do. The short reason is: I just haven’t been feeling well. The way I feel physically had directly affected by brain. It’s hard to be creative and my energy level is extremely low.

One of the things I’ve been bouncing around in my head is how do I take care of everything and everyone given that my health seems to be at a rough patch. Just FYI: I’m awaiting results that will let me know whether I have to go through chemotherapy and I’m having more symptoms that are definitely changing the way I feel – not in a good way. When it has to do with people helping me my resources are a little low. In fact, I’m more of the belief that when someone is sick, suffering or dealing with a chronic illness then they shouldn’t have to ask for outside help. For instance, if I had a friend suffering from chronic pain I would call and say, “I’m going to the grocery store, what do you need?” Now, most who are under the weather have no idea what they need or want because their brain is affected so I would offer a list of things that they might need. If they had everything then I’d make sure their dinner was already prepared and, if not, I’d just let them know I am bringing something for their dinner. This is really important for those who have family members to take care of.

In my experience, people say to me, “Let me know if you need anything…” Although it’s good to know that someone is available in an emergency or whatever it’s difficult to reach out to those who don’t keep in touch or check up on you. Is it just me or do you understand what I’m saying?

I know I can ask my oldest daughter to come home every two weeks or so and prepared meals to be frozen then all I have to do is heat them up and serve the children. I can also get one or two people to take me to doctor’s appointments if I let them know in enough time. But the dishes, laundry, cleaning, carpooling the kids, helping with homework and the myriad of other things seem to be (Well, they ARE)  floating in the air waiting for me to take care of.

I have tried saying something like, ‘I’m exhausted and haven’t been able to clean up and the bathrooms are disgusting.” I usually get a response like, ‘Oh, don’t worry about it you’ll get to it whenever” or something similar. I guess they don’t get that the knowledge of everything that needs to be done is tiring and overwhelming then when I finally get on my feet it’s still difficult getting everything done. The result is normally another setback in my health trying to catch up. I don’t think I’ll ever have the nerve to say, “My bathroom is gross, will you clean it?”

There may be a few options to consider: Move back to Maryland where I have tons of family and friends who hopefully would pitch in on a regular basis. The other option, I guess, would be to build a network. That just seems wrong to me to try and build a network now that I need help. Sigh. Well, I guess that’s only two options … ‘cause I can’t think of anything more.

What would you do?

Click for my last health update.