“I often wait for different things to happen and it finally dawned on me in order for IT to happen I have to *make* it happen!”
Now if I’m going to say something like that then I have to do something, right? You know: Back it up. This weekend, as is the case with most weekends without my young children, I have a lot of time to myself. Normally on Saturday mornings I sleep very late, rise for breakfast/brunch and chill out in front of the television. I normally have grand plans about getting the house in order, getting some work done and whatnot, but it often goes undone until Sunday.
Last night I was feeling a bit “alone.” I’m not one to get lonely very often because I actually enjoy spending time with myself. It just gets a little old sometimes, but since I’ve spent years waiting on others to make life interesting or fun and waiting for someone to show me they care enough about me to include me in their lives I think it’s high time I stopped waiting.
The first excitement of my weekend was going to be going to the main library branch to get my taxes done. It’s supposed to be from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. and the complex we live in now was having a brunch for residents from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. I thought, ‘Hmmm, do I want to spend the morning making sure I have my tax paperwork in order then sit for who knows how long or enjoy some relaxation and get to know some of the other residents?’ I chose the latter, especially since I have to go to the VA Hospital this evening for a CT scan of my liver and I had to stop eating at 1:30.
I got a little exercise by walking to the community room and enjoyed the brisk day, had a good conversation with an older woman and the cute young couple who are the “hosts” of the complex. I can’t think of what exactly they said their roll is, but they welcome new residents, host get-togethers and are working to make this community a family, of sorts.
I had grand plans about what I want to do this afternoon, but I got caught sitting in front of the television watching a reality show. I think, instead of cleaning up or doing more organizing, I may check out Payless Shoe Source to see if I can find a pair of cute, comfortable, sexy AND casual (LOL!) shoes for everyday. After my CT scan I may stop at Atlantic Station, if it isn’t raining, and do a little window shopping. Maybe there’s a sale going on and I’ll find a little treat for myself.
Whatever I decide to do with my weekend I need to start making things happen for myself. I’d like to meet some new people, make some friends and “seriously” have a connection with someone. Whether a female friend or a male companion (hey, I’m human!) I can’t meet anyone by sitting inside my apartment or chilling in bed watching Canadian series on Hulu, which is one of my absolute favorite things to do.
All of that seems easy and natural, right? Well, I am a loner and a true book nerd. I’m even a little antisocial although people who meet me don’t get that impression. I like being around people to a certain degree, but I have to get in a certain mindset. I mean, I work from home and I’m a single mom. I don’t go to clubs and I only have two female friends that I communicate with on a regular basis. I spend more time hanging out with my teenager (oh my gosh: ADULT) daughter, Can you believe she’s going to be 20 years old?!
… and she’s away at college.
This life I’m making for myself… stress-free, apartment living, raising children and supportive of an adult child with the desire to continue to be a successful writer and a fabulous woman while making my home comfy, inviting and ultra fabulous … has a few holes in it. Well, a couple of holes and I’m not going to wait for anyone to fill them for me.
The wait is finally over.