Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Mind over matter

I've been hesitant to write my health and weight loss journal this week. I'm not really sure why... I guess it's because I don't really want to think about everything that is going through my head about my health or evaluate how I have been feeling.

Let's start with the easy part: The weight.

The good news is that I still fit in my clothes. LOL... the bad news is that I haven't been exercising (not even yoga) and I've been eating a bunch of sugar. I'm going to blame that on having the teenager at home. Don't tell her I said that. I guess it's not all her fault 'cause my sweet tooth has been going crazy. I think it's a lot of emotional eating too. I don't usually get caught up in that and normally have a lot of control, but I think the parts of my life that I can't control are unconsciously overwhelming my mind and manifesting into serious snack attacks.

You will not believe how many chocolate covered pretzels I had last night in addition to the sugar cookie. Yup, all Amber's fault 'cause she bought the pretzels and made the cookies, but they were soooo good!

Still - as I've said over and over and over again - I'd like to figure out a way to add working out and yoga into my day. I already get up at 5:30ish and I don't rise moving full force so oftentimes I still run late.

That kind of leads to the health side of things...

It's hard to get up moving full force when you're body is working against you. I'm drowsy from the meds, sore from the illnesses (?) disease (?) conditions (?)... you know what I mean. By the time the drowsiness wears off, I have to get the children up, fed, dressed and out the door. And, of course, the later I wait in the day the less time and energy I have to do it.

But wait! There was something I wrote last year about taking the time to exercise. Let me see if I can find it... Oh yea, it was a post called Fittin' it in with dance, yoga. Click over to check out the entire post, but here is the part I am talking about:
... My free feeling started to dwindle away and my face started to frown, and then I was irritated about not having time to do yoga. Geez, I went from one freeing feeling to a total irritating irritation!


I suddenly thought of an article I had read earlier in body+soul magazine about doing certain yoga moves to assist in building the immune system in fighting colds and flu and I decided to do yoga right that moment. Right in the hallway.

Getting out my yoga mat, book, CD, block and strap is such a process. Yoga books recommend wearing certain clothing and being freshly showered while having a designated spot and mat that is just for that. All of that preparation was hindering me in getting it done. ...
I need to do that again - fit in the movement to assist in my overall health. It's an ongoing task and battle.

Okay, honestly, I haven't been feeling that great. I've had a weird throat thing going on for several days. Headaches. My left thigh and lower left side of my back or something has been hurting really bad. Yesterday was absolutely awful! Today I feel "better," so to speak. It's a pain that I occasionally have that lingers for about a few days to several weeks or a couple of months. This seems like the worse it's ever been. I don't know if the cold has made it worse (less than 17 degrees in the morning and about 30 or so during the day), but whatever is causing the pain is really bothersome.

Instead of making another appointment, I'm trying to wait until the next appointment that I have. I'm there - at the VA hospital - so much that I just don't want to go again right now. I'm already feeling a bit bothered about the liver biopsy I'm going to have. It hasn't been scheduled yet and the impending doom of it all is looming.

My effort not to worry is thwarted by the way my body feels. It's a constant reminder of ongoing medical issues. I'll just click on over to the ChronicBabe site and do a little networking and reading; it's always helpful to "hang out" with folks who literally understand the dilemmas of "invisible disease."