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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

She shoots, she scores!

Know what I feel like doing?

...Opening the lid of my outdoor trashcan, passing my laptop from hand to hand as I race down the driveway and dodge the defense, do an alley-oop and slam my laptop into the can. In.your.face.

Nevertheless, I don't think that will happen. I'm sitting at the kitchen table, (displaced from my desk. No, I don't know why) and trying to focus. I hear my laptop (I'm on my teenager's lappy now) shut down and reboot. No, it's not ghosts of laptops past; it's my best friend working on it remotely.

The last time he called for me to reboot it in safe mode I heard him mumble something like "if this doesn't work then..." I promptly ceased listening and made a point to not ask what he said. My hope upon hope is that he can revive it enough to last until after Christmas. Surely I will have money in the New Year to spend on a new laptop. Or maybe I'll troll the Internet for bloggy contests giving away laptops.

If not, I quit.

Oh wait, I'm not a young single chick living at home with mommy and writing the next Pulitzer Prize winning novel. I'm a single mom with four children, a house, a mortgage, a million bills, expenses and responsibilities. A laptop, or computer, is how I make my dough. Quitting is not an option.

Unless of course you know a tall, dark, rich (semi-rich?) brother who wouldn't mind putting up a hot momma and her four children. Well, three full time and one part time. Whataya think? Anyone willing to pay my dating site membership fee? Maybe you have a cute relative of the male persuasion that you want to recommend.

Not realistic? How about this...

I'll drape myself in my sexiest yet conservative, relaxed yet professional gear and frequent hot spots where the well-to-do businessmen visit. Or the places that often have celebrity sightings. I'm sure I can reel me in a man or two. He'll fall in love and do my bidding. ...

What?! Not realistic either?

Look, I'm running out of options here. Okay, okay... Here's the last one:

Bust my tail (nothing new there), work like I'm crazy to make enough money for my regular stuff and the new expense of a lappy and just buy one. Picture me rolling my eyes here. How boring, regular and stressful. Geez, I so like my other ideas better. Way to shoot down a girl.

That's okay... I'll be in the driveway practicing my layup 'cause I'm sure I'll get a chance to take that shot soon.

DISCLAIMER: Please don't leave any tsk-tsk comments on this post. If you're taking this for anything than it was intended don't blame me for your lack of humor and ability to see a tired, burnt out mommy and woman for the procrastinating person (I should be at least trying to do something productive) she is. Hey, I wouldn't be a true writer if you didn't get some off-the-wall posts while I'm trying to regain my bearings. Now would I?
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