Life... Health... Reviews...

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

D.I.M. (don't ignore me)

To be ignored is probably one of the most painful forms of rejection. It's one thing to get closure on a situation and realize that you're not wanted or needed. It's an entirely different feeling to not know why you're being ignored or why you were rejected.

It doesn't really matter what type of relationship it is: If a parent ignores you it'll hurt; if your child ignores you it'll hurt; if it's your spouse, your lover, your significant other... whoever it is it'll hurt. I'm not talking about an oh-I'm-mad-at-you-because-you-threw-away-my-chicken-sandwich kind of being ignored. I'm talking about the days, weeks and months that can pass when a person decides that they're just done with you. Finished.

What would you do? How would you react if your spouse just up and moved out one day and never said a word to you after that? What if your father decided that he didn't want to be apart of your life. Keep in mind that you haven't argued, disagreed or done anything recently that warrants such behavior.

What.exactly.would.you.do?

The pain of such a rejection is like a tearing inside the heart. You can hear the rip and feel the blood dripping out... draining from your soul, leaving you empty. Scared. Wondering. Imagine how your chest would tighten and your head would throb from the pressure of not releasing the confusion, the self-defeatist attitude would build. You'd question what you did wrong then look for things that are wrong with you.

It has to be you, right?

Some would say, "No, it's not you." But it's the you that caused the action of the rejection. Something fueled the decision, caused the riff, motivated the separation.

If everyone should take complete responsibility for what they did or didn't do then it's a matter of figuring out your responsibility. Of course that's just one woman's point of view.

Remove the pain
Stop the rain
Make me sane
Once again.
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7 comments

  1. I'm sort of living that right now with my dad. We didn't argue, his new wife caused a scene at his 65th birthday party and now he doesn't speak to me. He speaks to my sister. He argues violently with my brother. But me? It's like I don't even exist. Very, very painful.

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  2. Well I have not been in this situation myself and I hope I've never caused a situation like that either. I would be one of those ones who would say it wasn't you but that's the type of person I am. The whole situation sucks!

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  3. Oh, this is the worst. I had a similar situation happen to me several years ago with a friend in college, and it is still quite painful even to think about it. I agree with you, being ignored is the worst kind of rejection. I think lots of people can relate to this.

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  4. This is a great post. I can feel the pain just reading it so, I would hate to have to live through it. I imagine I would go through a range of emotions starting with confusion and ending with anger. Maybe. That's just a guess. I hope I never have to experience it.

    Thanks for a great post.

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  5. Don't beat your self up because someone else is week and spineless and has no decency. If you have made an effort to contact them and they have not contacted you back, If you can not think of anything on the top of your head that you have done to make someone never want to talk to you again. Then it isn't you, it is them. They are not the nice person you thought they were and unfortunately they probably never really care about your relationship.

    I would take some time to recover from the pain and move on. No one needs people in your life that don't care enough to be truthful to you.

    I speak from experience.

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  6. Wonderful post. That is one of the worst types of pain. You know the person is alive and well, but you are unable to have a relationship with them, and the pain really pulls you down and consumes your every thought.

    I really enjoy reading your posts and am glad I found your blog. I have an award waiting for you at http://flyinggigglesandlollipops.blogspot.com/2009/10/one-lovely-blog-award.html I know how busy us Mamas get, so please do not feel pressured to post it, I just want to let you know you have a lovely blog!

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  7. i feel a lot of pain and anger in this post. the not knowing is very hard. but if you put it into perspective, a person can't "make" another person feel one way or the other. we own our emotions/feelings. (have i said this before, hmmm?) we say we feel a certain way because of some action, but we really choose the way we feel. by being rejected by someone we choose to feel hurt instead of choosing to say, this is not my action, i can't change this person, i can only go on with my life the best that i can. make any sense? if someone has rejected you it is their loss.

    have a wonderful night my friend, much love to you!

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