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Monday, September 7, 2009

Monday's Muse: Least traveled road

Today, at Maternal Spark, we're reminded to take the road less traveled. And, for some reason, that thought/plan really intrigues me.

I am at a juncture in my life with several changes and decisions that need to be made. I'm coming to the end of a marriage (my divorce should be finalized very soon), my oldest daughter has started college and I'm hoping to go back to school to get another degree. There are a couple of other things that are on the table including my not having transportation right now (hopefully it'll be no more than a week).

Along similar lines of the road less traveled, my mother told me a couple of weeks ago to do what I think is best for me and, for once, don't worry about anything or anyone else or what they'll think. That intrigued me as well.

With those thoughts in mind, I am considering what - for me - is the road less traveled. In the past, I would make decisions based on what's best for everyone else with minimal thought of myself. This is the first time, in as long as I can remember, that I'm considering what I really want. I wish I could reveal it all here, but it isn't time yet.

I want to make decisions that will lead me on a different path than I've followed before. I want to improve who I am, be myself and have something that truly makes me happy. I understand that life can be tough, but it doesn't mean that I should always choose the easy road. I've learned that particular road doesn't always end in what makes me happy.

The road I need to take may be longer and bumpier than the previous one. It may cause discord and unrest in others. And, it may cause more stress for me in the beginning, but I see my happiness at the end of it.

I wish I could jump up right now and do what I think will make me the happiest. I wish it was a short road. It can be bumpy, but can the distance be reduced? Deciding on that road causes me a little apprehension because I don't necessarily like change or resistance. Change is supposedly good and, I guess, I am strong enough to fight resistance.
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