I'm not going to go into detail, but this weekend turned out nothing like I imagined or wanted. (Let's just say I had a real ugly cry as a result.) The bad part is I don't even really know why. One of the things I have figured out, like I think I've mentioned in the past, is that I really can only rely on myself. Let me briefly explain: I control my happiness, which I already knew. But every once in awhile I trust others to provide (fuel? help? give? carry?) some of that happiness. When that isn't met - without explanation or seemingly care - it is just short of devastating.
Now I sit here in the quiet (oh, how I love quiet!), semi-darkness and concentrate on thinking happy thoughts and I wonder how the next year will be. What have I learned over the past year? How have I changed? Who am I becoming?
My concentration is not on what others are doing or are going to do; it's on me and what I should do and what I am doing. It's on improving me.
That's what today is about, right? Yup! Beautiful, 41-year-old me!