Me 41? Wow!

Today is my birthday. It's actually hard to believe since it kind of feels like any other day. The difference? So many wonderful friends have stopped by here (this blog), called me and posted on my Facebook page to wish me a happy birthday. And that's very much appreciated. Those wishes have made my day!

I'm not going to go into detail, but this weekend turned out nothing like I imagined or wanted. (Let's just say I had a real ugly cry as a result.) The bad part is I don't even really know why. One of the things I have figured out, like I think I've mentioned in the past, is that I really can only rely on myself. Let me briefly explain: I control my happiness, which I already knew. But every once in awhile I trust others to provide (fuel? help? give? carry?) some of that happiness. When that isn't met - without explanation or seemingly care - it is just short of devastating.

Now I sit here in the quiet (oh, how I love quiet!), semi-darkness and concentrate on thinking happy thoughts and I wonder how the next year will be. What have I learned over the past year? How have I changed? Who am I becoming?

My concentration is not on what others are doing or are going to do; it's on me and what I should do and what I am doing. It's on improving me.

Me.

That's what today is about, right? Yup! Beautiful, 41-year-old me!