... or maybe just a real godparent.
I envision godparents as angels. A longtime friend, caring aunt or a trusted cousin who gives your child the care, nurturing, love, guidance, fun and stuff that parents just can't, won't or shouldn't provide.
I'm sure that's what's missing from my younger children's lives.
This weekend has been really sucky for me. I could say the last two years have been, but I'm trying not to be extremely negative. I am in a bad mood, there are quite a few financial and personal problems, and my brain hurts from trying to figure everything out.
Well, just because things aren't going right for me doesn't mean my children are going to act any differently. In fact, it seems like they're even more rambunctious than usual. A godparent would/could occupy their time. All I had for them to do was a birthday party Friday evening.
One of the children in my 4-year-old daughter's class had a birthday party at a local skating rink. The kids had a ball... I - on the other hand - sat there wishing I was sitting on a rock staring at the sky. There was a little glimmer of fun somewhere down inside as my love for skating began to resurface. Of course it was extinguished by the small ugly voice that lives inside my head that said, "Skating? You don't even have money for them to play games..."
See, that's why they need a godparent.
When I woke up yesterday morning with a chip on my shoulder, a godparent would have swooped in, treated the kids to the dollar menu at a local fast food restaurant and tired them out until bedtime. Instead they were subjected to my evil eye all day. When I opened my eyes this morning and wished I could sleep 12 more hours, a godparent would have showed up with a cup of coffee (it's special 'cause I wouldn't have had to make it), gotten the children dressed, taken them to church, made sure they ate dinner and brought them home just in time for bedtime. And, if the godparent was really good, they would already be bathed, lotioned and already to snuggle in until the next morning.
Unfortunately, besides the party, all I had planned was knowing they would eat three meals and two snacks. They could watch a movie if they asked. Remember to have them clean up their toys. And... keep them from hurting themselves and each other.
I'm really not that much better when I'm in a good mood. Well, okay, my conscious won't allow me to tell that lie and some people may not realize I'm (somewhat) joking.
Seriously, it would be nice to have someone who is always there for the children and who cares a little about me as a parent (not to mention as a person). I guess I'm just having one of those moments. I wrote the following comment on Grammology's blog and it sort of explains or reveals how I'm thinking right now: "You know, I don’t think I really care about my funeral or anything surrounding it. I just want someone to turn away the people who come to my funeral who never showed up when I needed them in life. That way, there will hardly be anyone there."
Maybe I'm the one who needs the fairy godmother.