While the couple was together, Michelle was a stay-at-home mom who occasionally worked at her own business. Their children are young and close in age, and Michelle spent most of their short marriage pregnant. Her husband made the bulk of the income and every time she would say she should go back to work, he would respond, 'You don't want to do that.'Michelle says that her husband told her he is not giving her $1,200 per month to take care of her. She was shocked at his statement and disbelieving of the fact that he seems to have no idea how much it takes to take care for a child each month - let alone three children.
This is where I came in and added my two cents. Thanks to some research information I'd received.
Not too long after discovering this there was a press release in my email in box from IBISWorld.com, a company that publishes industry and company research reports and information, revealing that in today's economy parenting is even costlier. According to the Los Angeles-based company the impact of our economic condition further exacerbates financial commitment and the average cost of raising a child from birth to the age of 18 is $227,862. That's $12,658 per year or about $1,054.
© IBISWorld USAAccording to my calculations Michelle needs about $3,164 each month just to care for those three children. If her soon-to-be ex-husband paid half that would be $1,582 each month. He's balking because she is asking (against her lawyer's recommendations) for a minimum of $1,000.
Kind of reminds me of that snake in my yard. Oops, sorry, I digress.
Photo credit: Petula WrightIt really angers and discourages me when I hear stories like this. I'll never understand how someone can be so spiteful and hateful not to care enough about a person they once loved to do the right thing. I've heard that he's giving the daycare provider money for field trips and, of course, providing for the children when they're with him every other weekend. But to hold money hostage, to gain and force control, is just plain wrong.
© IBISWorld USADo you know of similar situations? Or have you noticed that the condition of the economy is making it harder to provide for your children? Take a minute and weigh in.
*Name has been changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent.
8 folks a chattin':
I have no experience in this topic as that I have no kids but my belief is that a father (as a man) should take care of his responsibilities. I am sure he doesn't think that he is doing the right thing. Maybe he thinks he is punishing the mother but actually depending on how old the kids are he is teaching them dangerous lessons about haw you deal with relationships. I wish Michelle luck in herr situation cause dealing with that type of person in this type of situation is rough. I hope that if I am ever in this type of situation (Lord forbid)that I will prove to be a better father and a better man!
It's all to common that men neglect their responsibilities physically, emotionally and financially.
My ex has had my daughter 1 night in 6 years and never had my son (his choice). I'm owed thousands in child maintenance payments and can go months with out receiving any support. So I'm left to work full time and raise 2 kids on my own.
This situation is sadly all to common.
Thanks for the interesting post.
Food for thought for so many people who owe money or owed money to raise their children.
This is my first time visiting from Lin's blog. I really enjoyed reading!
I recently wrote a post on men winning custody of their children either jointly or solely. My nephew has joint custody of his son, and he is not obligated to pay his ex-wife a dime. He's resposible for the child's expense when he's in his care.
If there were 3 childen, it would have worked the same way. Things are changing ladies, so prepare yourself to do battle.
Unfortunately, when there's a split the mother never receives what she truly deserves in child support when she has them fill time. I'm surprised this woman is going against her attorney though.
I have a friend with a similar case but they only have 1 child.She had to wait for two years before she was able to get support from her ex. The husband didn't actually want to support their child but he had to because he lost in court.
It's sad when a court has to tell you to take care of your child. I guess what they say is true any man can have a baby but it takes a man to be a father.
Acuatly, this child support system is ran by a feminist hate group. The purpose is to divide the family an take the value out of the kids. Men or women shouldn't have to pay child support. Just as many females are dead beats as they same males are dead beats Its against the constitution an it is also in humane. Read Betrayel of a child; the truth is in there.
I can relate just about 100%. I too, have 3 children, was a stay at home mom but also worked for our own business. My spouse and I separated 4 years ago. My spouse insisted the children and I continue to live in our matrimonial home. Monthly expenses run approximatley $8000.00. He said "he would take care of it." That was a crock. From the time he moved out, he only paid not even a quarter of that which didn't even equal the basic cost of child support I was to receive. I had created my own business which I had to shut down because he once again stopped paying support. I had to use rent money for business to take care of the kids. I have had job opportunities which I had to turn down because he won't help with babysitting costs. All the extraordinary expenses for the children have been paid by me all this time, and I have gone from asking him to negotiate an official separation, to writing one up myself. Never was it signed or discussed, to going to a lawyer, having him send a letter to my spouse requesting a financial statement over three months ago and still to this day nothing has been done. For him, he thinks nothing signed means no disciplinary action can be taken. I know in Ontario, Canada, if you don't pay adequate support first step is you can have their driver's license revoked and then jail time. I have just today put in a request for this to be done.
In the meantime something steady I do is professional boxing. Taking a lot of shots to the head but at least it helps to feed the kids. Not too many men would have the balls to do that. In fact I dare any dead beat dad to get in the ring with me!!
A comment about the "child support system being run by a feminist hate group" by Angelo, is ridiculous. If that was the case, why are there so many women without child support. There are some very good father's out there, yet it is the dead beat dad's that gives men a bad name...not the women.
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