Life... Health... Reviews...

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Rhythm of thoughts

There's something about when things start going wrong then everything seems to go downhill fast. Sometimes I don't understand it. I get so busy with life - taking my children to the doctor, trying to plan activities for them, running errands, going to my own appointments, planning/completing what needs to be done to get my daughter ready for college and trying to make money - that I just want things to flow.

Now I don't expect everything to be trouble or stress free, but I would like a little normalcy. Is that the word I'm looking for? It'd be nice if everyone realized their responsibilities, listened to understand another's point of view and determined what is best for all and not just themselves. It'd be nice if I went more than a week or month without crying because I am hurt, worried or stressed.

I guess the good thing is I don't cry as much as I used to. The tears have been around lately, but I've mostly been a little numb. Just wanting to stare into space and focus on not thinking.

Once again I've been thinking about discontinuing my blogging. I hate neglecting my blogs and my blogging friends. It feels wrong somehow when I'm not here. Then I think about you - the regular readers - as well as those who have become friends to me. You email me, respond when I leave comments and I am generally interested in what's going on in your world. I feel like I can not be a good blogging friend, take care of everything that is going on around here (including divorce discord) and try to make money all at the same time. Since blogging gives me such joy it seems frivolous. Yea, it makes a little money, but that's not good enough. At least by some people's standards.

Life has been so tiring lately. I've developed "can't do two things at once syndrome." (You know that thing that most men have. LOL) I haven't been able to write anything creative or worth anything. I'm random, messy, exhausted, headachy, I have a sinus infection... oh wait, that so sounds like complaining. I don't wanna complain or vent. I just wanted to get some stuff off my chest (oh, is that what venting is?) and let you know what's up.

Forgive me (again) for not being around. I hope that my mind and life will calm down soon.
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4 comments

  1. I'm sure that we all have times of stress and I for one would really miss it if your blog disappeared! Things will get better. Don't give up or give in!!!! I hope you fell better!

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  2. Hey Petula,

    I really relate to what you are saying here. I think now days we all have busy lives and then we try and cram extra into them when there isn’t enough hours in the day. I often think about who much more time I would have on my hands if I stopped blogging. Then I wonder maybe I should stop, that would give me more time to attend to other things. In reality this is not true I would most probably waste mine time somewhere else. My kids aren’t being neglected due to my blog habit as I blog when they are in bed or at school. I think you have to do something for yourself, something that you enjoy whether that be blogging or something else no matter how busy life it. It keeps you sane even though sometime you think it’s the cause of your time related issues.

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  3. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. We will always be here for you, to listen to you, and open our arms for a hug or a shoulder for you. {{hugs}}

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  4. I've been feeling like this lately. With summer coming and my fat butt growing, I just want to turn the computer off and get outside and live. I'm struggling with my blog--I want to post and post well, but I'm too frazzled to come up with a story--then I feel like I'm letting the reader down on some level. Then there is the visiting other blogs, commenting, and dropping--there just isn't the time to return the favor.

    What to do?? I don't know. Maybe I'll start by taking weekends off. I think most people understand and would like to do the same.

    I hope you don't quit the blog altogether--I like catching up with you and seeing how you are doing. Good or bad. You are like an old friend--we are here with you. Maybe try posting less--that might help.

    Hang in there, pally!

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