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Monday, March 2, 2009

Monday's Muse: Letting go

Normally every weekend from Friday evening to Sunday evening I get ready for the next week. On the weekends when the younger kids aren't here the cleaning, laundry and the rest of the chores are completed fairly easily. The weekends that they are here are a little less organized.

Oftentimes I am trying to keep them occupied, trying to work or taking care of someone. Then when I try to get something accomplished I am interrupted or have to do something for someone like change a diaper. That's when I decide, "Oh, I'll just finish laundry while they take a nap." Then I change it to, "... while they're outside."

Sometimes before I get around to what I want to do my teenager comes in and says, "What are you about to do?" That means: "Let's watch t.v. together." There are times when I tell her that I can't at the moment, but there are times when I do. When it's just her and I stopping to watch an hour or so of television doesn't deter me from getting my chores done. But when all of the children are here it's an either/or type of thing.

The problem comes in when I feel guilty about what I didn't get done over the weekend. I usually get stressed by the disorder: For instance, if I don't finish laundry then I have to search through clean clothes all week and the hamper overflows.

But I am getting tired of being stressed about that. I am tired of beating myself up over what I don't get accomplished and realize I need to lift myself up over what I do accomplish. (Yes, Frankie, I know this is what you've been saying. :D) So, I've implemented a new rule:

On the weekends when the younger children are at home I won't worry about what I get done and what I don't. If I don't feel up to doing the laundry or if I decide to do an activity with the children instead then I'll be happy with that. I'll live in the moment and let go of any pressure I put on myself.

In reality, I am the only one pressuring me. I have enough stuff to worry about - the laundry getting finished is really unimportant. As long as my children have clean clothes to wear and they're well taken care of; what more is there? (You know what I mean, right?)

People - and moms specifically - need to give themselves a break. Here it is in black and white (well, purple and white!) to remind me if I ever forget. If you "hear" me complaining about not getting something done or that my to do list is overwhelming me, like I have in the past, I give you permission to remind me of this post. ;)

I hope you have a relaxing week.


  1. I'm sure the people who love you have been telling you this for a while. It sounds like a good idea.

  2. Okay, I really, really needed to hear this today! I spent all weekend chasing around, picking up after my family and trying to maintain cleanliness. Today I felt under-the-weather and just plain "out of it" so the house fell to crap anyway! Feh.

  3. Yes, we need to have that balance between a sense of duty and a deep breath, enjoying the "now".

    Good post!

  4. Oh, I so know how you feel. I go through the same thing. Thanks for reminding me what is really important!


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