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Saturday, April 19, 2008

AARGH!

I am so tired, angry and frustrated that I don't even know what to call this post. If you can just indulge me while I vent and I will try to make it short. What am I so pissed about? I guess it just has to do with being alone. Not necessarily alone without a man (although, forgive me for saying so, a little nookie right now wouldn't hurt!), but just the sheer magnitude of how friend- and family-less I am.

I don't have one friend who lives in this state that drops by to check on me and the kids or invites us over or calls or whatever. My long-distance friends keep in touch, but I'm getting frustrated with just talking on the phone. I want people to come over, to hang out with, to drop my kids off to, to cook dinner for... can I get them something at the store, drop them off a treat, stop by to help them clean up, watch their kids...?

My brother is the only family member (oh, besides some random cousins) who lives nearby. I use "nearby" loosely because he's two hours away and I rarely see him. He just calls to see if I've made a decision about my marriage. What about: Do you need anything, sis? No!

I have a "friend" (there goes that word again) who I've known for 29 years and he lives less than 10 minutes from me. I've tried inviting him for tea, coffee, wine, play Scrabble, watch a movie, lunch... you name it, I've tried it. He's either busy or will get back to me. Not gonna happen. Who am I kidding?

I am so tired of the inside of my house and spending ALL of my time with my children that I can just scream! I am tired of my to-do list and the monotony of the same routine, same food, same creditors calling my phone, same searching for a job, assignments, paid posts... I ... am.... so... freaking .... tired!

And how pitiful is this: My daughter has plans for the day with her friends and her boyfriend... blah blah yadda yadda... and what will I be doing? Sitting at my desk, washing clothes, waiting for the yard guy to call, listening to music, watching a little tv, eating and feeling sorry for myself. Oh, I may break the day up a little with picking up my medicine and doing my hair. Yippee, I'm giddy with the excitement of it all.
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Friday, April 18, 2008

Untidy House

According to a recent survey conducted by ServiceMagic.com, 63 percent of Americans live near a sloppy or dilapidated house. So, I guess I'm one of the 63 percent... I can't get the lawn mower started (see the next post).

I'm officially the "Neighborhood Eyesore!"
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We wear many hats!

I'm getting a little frustrated! I mean, as usual there's a lot to do. The laundry must be washed, beds made, dishes cleaned, posts to write, bills to pay, assignments to find, jobs to apply for, errands to run and people to carpool. You know what I mean, right?

Well, there's another thing on my list that I've been kind of procrastinating through. Cutting the lawn. Now, I don't necessarily mind doing it; I just think of it as exercise. But the lawnmower isn't starting. I purchased a spark plug since that was rusted and I still can't get it started.

I had to come in to put the baby down for a nap... she didn't appreciate sitting in her walker on the deck watching me struggle with that contraption.

So, I'm on my way back outside to try again... If you don't hear from me again send backup, reinforcements or just a cute guy to help me out!
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Thursday, April 17, 2008

Coach Girlie Giveaway

Melinda, who I don't know how I lost track of (please forgive me!), is having another Coach Girlie Giveaway. The prize is an authentic and absolutely adorable, to-die-for Coach Hamptons Scribble Top Handle Purse. This bag is really cute and I would love to win it. What about you?

Find out how to enter by clicking her badge...

Melinda Zook
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I love me some ice cream!

I've been really enjoying Get Paid to Fart, a blog I found while doing LinkReferral surfing. I was over there today and there was a very interesting post about paid posts and how boring they can be. Well, she's offering a paid post of sorts. All you have to do is blog about chocolate, ice cream or sex and she'll randomly chose one poster/blogger to get $10 via PayPal.

So, I thought I'd give it a try.

I was going to post about chocolate because everyone knows (or at least you should know by now) that chocolate is my absolute favorite, but I thought I'd blog about my favorite ice cream: Skinny Cow.

Skinny Cow is the absolute best treat ever! Why, you ask? Well, it tastes good and it's low in calories and fat. Take, for instance, their Skinny Dippers. They're only 80 calories if you eat one (the serving size is two) and it's about 3 grams of fat. So, I can get my chocolate fix and my ice cream fix all in one. And they have a wide selection of goodies: sandwiches, bars, cones... mmm, just thinking of them makes me want to go to the freezer right now and grab one!

Since we're on the subject, why don't you tell me what your favorite ice cream is?
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No photos

I don't like to write long posts without breaking them up with photos and artwork, but Blogger's photo thingy isn't working right now so please forgive the next post and its lack of photos!

If I remember I will come back later and add some. ... Thanks for reading it.
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My Mother's Day Memory

The background

It seems a little early for me to be sharing my Mother's Day memory, but I thought it better to do now instead of on the actual day. On Mother's Day 2007 I was standing in the driveway of my home talking to my husband. I was about eight months pregnant with my fourth child and he was handing me my gifts: An Oprah magazine (my favorite!) with a money order to get a year's subscription, some flowers and a card.

He was also apologizing for the situation we were in. You see, at that point we had been separated for a week. As I fought back the tears I was thinking, "What in the world am I going to do?"

If you read this blog often then you know I haven't revealed why I am separated and getting a divorce. My main reason for not telling you is not necessarily because I'm such a private person, but I never wanted someone to say that I defamed their character. But, it's time to give you a little piece of information that is vital to everything I want to tell you.

My husband had an inappropriate conversation with my daughter. I'm not going to get into too many details, but I'm sure you can ascertain what that means. At the time, separating was the right decision to protect all of the children. Not from him, per se, but from the possibility of an outside source initiating an investigation that would result in all of my children being taken if he was in the home.

Now, don't get me wrong, our marriage wasn't perfect to start. We were actually in the process of "working" on it. Unfortunately (is it fortunately?), I've decided that I don't want to work things out. There are several reasons, but that's too much to go into here.

My warning to you

I'm not about to tell you anything about protecting your daughters (you know that already) or what to do in situations like that (I don't even know what to do). I want you to know that about 60 percent (I can't find the exact percentage that I read recently) of divorced women live in poverty.

When I got married my credit score was 780. I had paid off all of my debt except for my student loan. I didn't have a lot of money, but I had started saving for retirement and I was caught up on my bills. I had a life insurance policy and I'd like to think I was pretty organized and savvy. Now, my credit score is 500 and something, and every penny I've ever had is gone. I don't even have life insurance anymore and my health insurance is iffy.

I've had three babies in four years and I've worked (and mostly NOT worked) from home. I allowed my money to be used for whatever was deemed necessary, I allowed my name to be used and I signed for stuff just to avoid conflict and... well, I could go on, but I think you get the point.

Don't let this happen to you!

WAHMs and SAHMs (and dads!) pay attention

Even if you think you're in a "perfect" relationship you should still ensure that you're protected for your future. If your spouse isn't interested in making sure that you (and they) would be protected then it's something you must do for yourself.

I'm especially concerned for SAHMs (and dads!). Even if you don't need an extra income, wouldn't it behoove you to find a work-from-home opportunity just to save for security's sake?

An-t-way, everyone (couples and individually) should:

•Establish a savings account and a retirement account. (Even a small deposit adds up eventually.)
•Make sure you have an up-to-date will.
•Do you have life and health insurance? (Your spouse's plan isn't always the cheapest.)
•Start an emergency fund.
•If you have children, are you saving to further their education?

There are so many other things that I've encountered in this experience that I wish I could get my thoughts together to tell you everything. If you hear nothing else then hear this: You never know what can happen. Someone could, God forbid, die, leave or become incapacitated. Then what would you do?

Are you prepared to be a single parent? I have four children and a home I'm responsible for and everyday the weight of the debt I've incurred, my daughter's upcoming prom, graduation and start of college and everything else is looming over my head, weighing on my shoulders and nagging at my brain. Although money doesn't buy happiness it sure could take care of a couple of problems around here!
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Internet communities

One of the best things about the Internet is the ability to find, make and talk to friends. You can share as much as you want or be as anonymous as you like, but whichever you decide nowadays it is easy enough to do with communities like 3gb. The 3gb community allows you to meet new friends, find old friends, upload pictures to share, join groups you are interested in, write a blog of your poems, experiences or whatever is on your mind, chat with other members, invite people you already know to join and even hear MP3 hits.

The 3gb community currently has 547 members with 68 albums holding 597 photos. There are 1,614 friends to make, 31 groups to join, 36 blog entries to enjoy and 182 comments to review. So, if you are new to the Internet communities then this may be just the place for you to start to get your feet wet because it is still small enough not to get lost. If you are an old hand at participating in communities then this seems like the perfect one to become involved in.

There are already some interesting people who have joined 3gb; why don’t you check them out and see what’s going on?
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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

For all you scrapbooking fanatics

I think I was doing my LinkReferral surfing when I came across this site and I decided to share it with you. I know there are several people who love scrapbooking and Shop til You Crop (isn't that a cute name?) seems like the perfect spot for all your scrapbooking needs. Let me know what you think and have fun!
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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Random thoughts, feelings

I think in general that I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky person. I mean, I have my moods, disappointments and sadness, but those who know me know that I'm pretty silly and, hopefully, pretty fun to interact with.

For the most part, I only have about three people that I consider friends. And, if you remember, I've had this whole conversation before about the use of the word friend. Everyone defines it differently and some may be offended to know that I really don't consider them to be true friends. Can there be a different word to use?

I guess that's not important.

What is? Hmmm... well, I've heard from a very good friend of mine that they have a friend who they have feelings for. Yes, you guessed it: a guy and a girl.

Their friendship runs pretty deep and they have a growing attraction and love for each other. But they can't find a place for this relationship in their lives: distance, children, money and all sorts of obstacles stand in their way. So, what did they decide to do? Possibly friends with benefits.

Interesting, huh?

Here's the problem: There are other people involved. She went out with someone not too long ago and, ahem, "got involved" with that person. And he potentially will see someone and also run to third base.

Her response to this knowledge? Almost devastated. (Yes, they tell each other everything! So, he already knew about her adventure before it happened. Well, sort of. That's an entirely different story.) She asked me -- so I'm asking you -- how does she deal with this and what should she do? My heart hurts for her because I see and feel her pain, her desires, her love...

And, as my friend, I only want to see her happy.
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'Houston, we have lift off!'

My health and weight loss journal


Imagine my glee when I stepped on the scale and saw 179.5! I know you remember me complaining because I had stopped losing weight. Well, I'm on a roll again. I'm gonna have to keep it up so I don't get above 180 again. That's unacceptable.

This is what I've been doing this past week:

**Exercise bike (Four days of riding the exercise bike about 5 miles and the past two days just five minutes and one mile per day.)
**Yoga
**A little Crunchless Abs
**And trying to watch my calorie intake

Do you think I can lose another 2.5 pounds by next Tuesday? Well, I'm sure gonna try.
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Monday, April 14, 2008

This was so fun!

I actually did this twice and it asked two different sets of questions -- both times I got the same answer. Watch out Jada Pinkett Smith; I'm coming for my man! LOL!


Take the Quiz
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No more complaining about 50 degrees

I was doing a little LinkReferral surfing and happened upon a site that gave the current temperature in Toronto, Canada, as 9 degrees! OMG, I am not going to complain again about the chilly temperatures here today.
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Secret/hiding Smorty banner

I've been trying to figure out a way to get more traffic and learn some new things with blogging, directories and such. In my effort to figure out if my RSS URL is different from the actual blog page URL I clicked on the RSS feed button on my page and discovered something very interesting.

Below every post in the RSS page is a flashing Smorty badge/banner. Now, it doesn't show up on the regular page and when I looked on the HTML page I didn't see it there. That's odd, isn't it? Does anyone know why it's there and how it got there?

I'm beginning to think that's why I'm not getting more PPP, Review Me and even Smorty offers. What do you think?
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My ideal day... week...

Have you ever thought about what you would do if you could do anything? I mean, I know there's the: I'd go to a spa, get my nails done, go shopping, go on a vacation, hire a babysitter kind of things. But I'm talking about something relatively tame... just something that you don't get much time to do.

Guess what my ideal day would be. Can you guess?

Well, you may think I'm crazy, but if I could do anything I'd spend a week sitting, laying, chilling and reading books and magazines. That's right! (Pretty unexciting, huh?) I really love to read. I already have tons of books I want to read and a list of books I want to get... and I'm behind on my magazine pile.

I can just picture me sitting on a chaise lounge with a stack of magazines and books from the floor going about four feet high. No children. No noise. Just my favorite blanket, a yummy cup of tea or a strawberry smoothie and, of course, my glasses! LOL.

Ahhhh... sounds divine.
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