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Friday, October 24, 2008

Unleash the passion

In This Woman's World

Sometimes I feel like my passion is squelched and locked away. What I want to express and who I want to express it to is not possible. Not, uh, open. Then there are other things and people who want to know all of my thoughts and feelings, but sometimes the wanted thoughts and the unwanted thoughts get all jumbled up together. Then I have no recourse but to lock them inside my head.

They get trapped together. Intertwined. Enmeshed. Lost. One thought leads to another becomes another and before I know it I am passionate. I have physical passion. Emotional passion. Creative passion.

It all births unacknowledged thoughts. My past collides with my present and I am the woman I always wanted to be and who I never thought I'd be. But that doesn't erase my passion.

I want to use my passion everyday. I want to learn how to move with it, experience, express it. I want to unlock the depths of it. And share it.

But when it's released it's jumbled, emotional. Sometimes tears drip from my eyes and the impact of what I think and feel overwhelms my mind and my mouth. So back to suppressed I go.

For now I live life one day at a time, suppressing thoughts and feelings that should or should not be shared. Hoping and longing for more physical and creative passion; putting away the emotional passion.

One day it'll erupt and be clear, present and understood, but right now some it remains unshared waiting to be unleashed.

Read my last In This Woman's World column: What about my boobies? Come back for next week's column, which will be about grief and betrayal.

The piece to the right is titled Passion and it's by Susan R. Makin. I think it's extremely interesting that I came upon this artwork not just because of its' title, but because of what the author wrote about it:

Passion, unfortunately, has to be held in check too often. Art-making can provide a release for it (of sorts), if we are lucky. This image emerged on its own, and at a time when I was particularly sensitive to the subject matter depicted. Inevitably, refinements to this painting took me on a personal odyssey. On closer inspection, many viewers might identify with aspects of it, even if not consciously. Certain details don't need to be discussed, interpreted, questioned, or dissected. They just are. The colors, shapes, dimensions, and juxtapositions included, emerged as they were supposed to. I just went with what came out—little need for embellishment or denial. Some viewers will see the completed picture as I do. Others might see something else.

What's up with your passion?
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