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Thursday, July 10, 2008

Dream meaning

Lost in Dreams by Jennifer Reed

Given my level of exhaustion and stress it isn't often that I remember a dream, but this morning I awoke from last night's trip into dream world with the images fresh in my mind. So fresh, in fact, that I was compelled to do a little research on the meaning of my dream.
I'll briefly tell you what happened in the dream, what I found out about the meaning of what I dreamt then I'll tell you what happened yesterday to make me think the dream was related to the "event."

The dream

Long story short: In the dream, my soon-to-be ex-husband violated me. Yea, I mean rape. Nasty little word, huh? [ Before you get too concerned: He isn't the type of person to do that. Yes, I defended him. Hey, there's no need to bad mouth him unless it's necessary. ;) ]

During this violation, which seemed to last forever and not bother me that much, I was beat up and the side of my face severely bruised. During the rest of the dream people talked about the bruising on my face, whispered about it and I touched it a lot and looked in the mirror.

The meaning

According to the Dream Moods Dream Dictionary that I found online there are, of course, a few meanings to dreaming about being raped. The one I think applied to me was: "...it suggests that you are feeling violated in some way. Something or someone is jeopardizing your self-esteem and emotional well-being. You feel that someone or something is being forced upon you."

Bruises have this meaning: "To dream that you have a bruise, represents stress and mounting pressure that you are dealing with in your waking life. It may also refer to a reawakening of old, family wounds. Alternatively, you need to accept the consequences of your actions. Consider the symbolism of the specific part of your body that is bruised."

Since it said to consider the symbolism of the specific body part, I looked up face and it said: "To see your own face in your dream, denotes the persona you choose to show to the world as oppose to the real you. It may refer to confrontations and your willingness to deal with problems and issues in your life. To dream that you face is flawed or pimply, represents erupting emotions. You may have suffered an attack on your persona or your reputation."

What happened... briefly

This may be a hard one to tell briefly and succinctly, so I'll do my best and if I'm not clear you'll have to let me know and I'll try to clarify. Yesterday I had a conversation with the soon-to-be ex-husband about drop off and pick up times for the younger children. I heard a lot of what he has to do and why one thing or another isn't going to work for him. It all stemmed from me asking him to drop them off later on Mondays.

As you know, they're home full time cause the spouse said he can't afford daycare making my work time and time to schedule appointments nonexistent. So, I've requested at least one weekday every 14 days to be able to schedule doctor's appointments (remember my health issues?) and work uninterrupted. He tells me he won't be able to get anything done that day if he drops them off later.

My response was pretty much that I couldn't get anything done any day and I'm only asking for one weekday every 14 days. I stuck to my guns and didn't let up on getting that one weekday.

He implied that since I didn't want to work out our marriage then this is the way it has to be or something like. So, is this punishment for not wanting to stay married to him?

SIGH

Well, that's the extremely short story -- with a lot of omissions -- but hopefully you get the point.

I left that conversation feeling violated, taken advantage of and beat up. It's definitely a stress-inducting situation that I have to deal with in my "waking life." But I feel like I dealt with it as best I could, which was addressing it and yelling at a friend about it later (erupting emotions?).

Get the correlations?

I'm not sure what it means about the people who were talking about my bruised face because I didn't look that part up. Maybe I don't want to know.

Whew! That was long. So, tell me, have you had any weird dreams lately?
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