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Thursday, September 13, 2007

Understanding Love


Early this morning, around 3:30 a.m., my 2-year-old daughter was calling out from her room.

“Andre!? Andre?!”

I thought it a little odd that she was calling for her brother because they share a room. In my sleepy fog, I thought maybe I had heard wrong. I stumbled from my bed and went to Amareah who was sitting on the floor next to their bedroom door. My oldest daughter’s bedroom door was slightly open, which is always an indication that the 3 year old, Andre, had went into her room to climb in her bed.

Instead of trying to make Amareah go back to bed, I took her into my room and put her in my bed. Of course, seconds later the baby awoke and she also ended up in my bed.

In the morning, while I was brushing Amareah’s teeth and getting her ready for the day, I asked her a couple of questions: “Did you miss your brother when you woke up and he wasn’t there?”

She nodded and smiled.

“Did it hurt your feelings that he wasn’t there?”

She nodded again.

“You love your brother a lot, don’t you?”

She nodded, smiled and turned toward the door to see if she could catch a glimpse of him in the living room.

I asked her if she would tell him she missed him and she said yes, but when I called him into the bathroom so she could tell him she just smiled bashfully.

“Andre,” I said. “Amareah missed you last night when you left her in the room by herself.”

He glanced at Amareah with a loving look on his face.

“You missed me, ‘Mareah?”

She nodded.

“I missed you too. I’m sorry,” he said and walked away.

“That’s okay,” she said softly as he left… and, there it was again, her smile.

Later, I thought about Amareah and Andre, who are 15 months apart, and the special love they share. They argue, fight, fuss, disagree, yell at each other, push, pull, wrestle and get mad. And not one circumstance of their disagreements has changed how they feel about each other. That made me think about myself, unfortunately circumstances and occurrences involving the person I’m in relationship with are directly tied to my feelings. The more I am hurt, the less I feel love.

If only I could be like Amareah and Andre. I guess, like children in general. With all of our education, wisdom and experience it isn’t adults who understand love; it’s children.

Today, right before I left Andre and Amareah at daycare, Andre had his arm around Amareah because someone had hurt her feelings and pushed her. He wasn’t mad that she got her turn watching a movie he didn’t want to watch, he wasn’t mad that she often instigates arguments and makes him mad… he wasn’t mad at all. The only thing he saw was the person he loves was in pain.

Oh, how sweet, to understand love.
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