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Monday, July 9, 2007

The Angst of Sleep Deprivation

I think the sleep deprivation is finally making me crazy. I mean, this is my fourth baby and I don’t recall ever being this tired. I don’t think I’ve had a decent night’s sleep in more than a year and my baby is only six weeks old. Since when do infants become wide-eyed between the hours of 12 and 6 a.m.? I know, sounds silly of me, doesn’t it? Well, two of my other children slept all night at a very young age so I expected the same courtesy from this one. That’s not expecting too much, is it?

She’s such a misleading little person. Quiet, rarely cries… and she’s gassy, but she doesn’t let that get to her. So imagine my surprise when I regularly see the whites of her eyes during the early morning hours when I should be looking at the insides of my eyelids. Last night was even worse than most. She’s quietly awake – grunting, passing gas, yelping, wiggling, eating and the like – and she throws up on her night shirt (this was after we’d been up for hours). So, I struggle out of bed – clumsily climbing over one of the toddlers who had invaded my space hours before – to change her diaper and her clothes. I change her diaper and wash away the vomit smell. Find a clean t-shirt and have her sitting up on my leg while I try not to jiggle her too much and see if she has to burp. She throws up again! This time it rolls down her chin, chest and leg and hits my leg near my upper thigh and trickles onto my panties. Argh!! That’s what I get for sleeping in my skivvies.

Luckily I hadn’t put on her other shirt yet so I used the wash clothe to wipe off her still dry diaper, I wipe her and my leg then get her into her clean, dry t-shirt. Finally, I get myself cleaned up. Sigh!!

She’s still not looking too sleepy so I angrily trudge through the house to the office and turn on my computer thinking that I might as well check some email since I’m wide awake. I get her bouncy chair and we settle in. Five minutes later she’s fussing to eat. Of course, nursing doesn’t work because I’d already nursed her recently and had just started giving her a bottle so my milk supply is down. Into the kitchen I go to make a bottle and warm it while she fusses as if she hasn’t eaten in four or more hours.

We settle in at the desk, she suckles the warm bottle and immediately falls asleep. By now it’s just about 6:20 a.m. Time for bed. My alarm goes off at 7. I shut it off and fall asleep 10 seconds later. At 9:20 my teenager comes into the room and says, “Mommy, are they going to daycare?”

“What time is it?”


Major aggravated sigh! We have to leave by 9:30 to get to daycare on time – no later than 10 a.m. The teenager rounds up the troops, brushes teeth, washes faces, picks out clothes and gets them dressed while I struggle to wake up and throw on some clothes.

We make it to daycare and I go home with the idea of taking a nap. Unfortunately, it’s 3:44 p.m. and sleep deprivation continues… no nap in sight!

(BTW: I don’t go to bed until midnight because the toddlers are on a destructive mission to participate in my lack of sleep by playing and laughing in their beds until late into the night. So instead of getting up and down I stay up until they finally go to sleep and as soon as I rest my head on the pillow, the baby wakes up.)
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